Honesty. It’s a simple concept — telling the truth — but it’s one that many people struggle with. Right now, there is an entire election being spun around who is or isn’t honest. But that’s neither here nor there, because today I don’t want to talk about me… being honest with myself.

Don’t worry; I’ll keep it light. It’s been kind of a heavy few days, don’t you think? From mental health to bravery, I’ve waded in some deep waters this week. It’s been nice. Cathartic, even. But I am in the process of rebuilding my blog (see here for that sad story), and it needs some levity.

Today marks day 3 of #NaBloPoMo, and the writing prompt we were given was: “If you could be completely honest with no regrets, what would you say and to whom?” The cogs in my brain began turning immediately, mulling over the topic, but I couldn’t really land on one person.

Would it be trite here to say I’m pretty honest with people as it is? I like to think I’m an open book — what you see is what you get. I don’t think anyone who knows me well would accuse me of ever not saying what it is on my mind if it’s important to me.

Having said that, I can’t say I’m always honest with myself. I mean, sure, I try to be. Still, there are some things I’ve done a solid job of convincing myself are one way when they are another. And while I’m not denying this probably includes some heavy stuff, let’s talk about the little lies we tell ourselves, shall we?

Eating cereal for dessert is good for you


It’s got bran in it, for gosh sake. C’mon, let me have this one.

I’m only going to watch one more episode


Damn you, Netflix! Making a Murderer? Check. Orange Is the New Black? Check. Marcella? Check. Gilmore Girls? Check. I guess I’ll sleep when I’m dead. Unless there is Netflix in heaven.

Or, I’m just going to read one more chapter


Two-thirds of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and 4 a.m. later….

I’ll clean the house tomorrow


Let’s be real: I’ll just keep putting this off until the threat of actually losing a small child or pet in the maelstrom of chaos compels me.

No one takes a shower every day any way


If you are a mother of young children, this statement probably reads like reality to you. If you are not a mom, you might be a little grossed out right now. It’s cool — I get it. I gross me out too sometimes.

It’s perfectly acceptable to use toilet paper for a coffee filter


What, like you’ve never done it. We were out of filters, and the situation was dire.

I couldn’t possibly eat another bite


“Dessert? Oh, no. I’m too full for dessert.” Ha! Polite Me and Hungry Me obviously aren’t on the same page. Hence, cereal at midnight. (see above)

I’ll just sleep for five more minutes


Just five more minutes! Five minutes later: Just five more minutes! Five minutes later: Just five more minutes! Repeat process until someone in your family gets fed up with your phone alarm and makes you drag your tired a** out of bed.

Christmas cards will go out at the end of November


Or mid-December. Or early January. Whatevs.

I’m still cool


*I tell myself as I take my multi-vitamin, slip on my moisturizing nighttime socks, and crawl into bed at 10pm to binge-watch Forensic Files. I’m on fleek. (That’s what the kids are saying these days, no?)

There you have it — things I now have no choice but to be honest with myself about. What funny little lies do you tell yourself?

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